Our son has been talking our heads off about a cute
little girl in his class. “I would love
to have a picnic with A. in the backyard,” he says while spooning his morning
oatmeal. For months, he has been racing
around the school yard with his classmate, A., during recess. So, I’m not surprised at his suggestion to
invite her over. Since our son is in an
inclusion class, I’m not sure if A. is a NT (neurotypical) or ASD kid. Nonetheless, I don’t have a problem with hosting
a potential play date.
Still, here’s the thing: Our son has the attention-span of a
gnat. A worst-case scenario is he and A.
play tag for ten minutes. Then, he gets
bored and wrestles with his "Super Why!" doll, stranding A. by herself for the
rest of the afternoon. But we can remedy
that with tons of sugary treats and other nap-worthy games. Also, I don’t have any experience with formal play dates.
Unless, a “play date” constitutes raiding a friend’s fridge for snacks before scurrying back outside. So hosting this type of get-together is foreign territory for all of us.
Maintaining friendships is critical towards building
social skills—and it could affect school performance. Conflict in friendships, particularly
for boys, is related to lower levels of school involvement and higher levels of
loneliness.
Friendships for children with autism spectrum disorder
may be challenging due to difficulties with social cognition including the
ability to read and interpret social cues.
And they have fewer reciprocal friendships compared with
typically-developing children.
Boys with autism, like our son, are more likely to
have friendships with girls than boys without the condition. Other factors
such as verbal ability may also influence friendship
quality, too.
A number of studies suggest that “mixed” friendships between children with high-functioning
autism spectrum disorder (HFASD) and typically-developing peers may improve
social skills for the former. In a
2008 study in the Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, researchers found that children in mixed
friendships were more responsive and cohesive to each other than “non-mixed”
friendships (i.e. friendships between children with HFASD and students with disabilities).
In
addition, the children in mixed friendships showed higher levels of positive
social orientation, receptive language skills and more complex level of coordinated
play compared with those in non-mixed relationships. But students with HFASD in mixed
relationships had fewer opportunities to lead and initiate activities than in
the non-mixed friendships.
Still,
these relationships—regardless of friendship type—are beneficial for children
with HFASD. The authors write, “…it is
not surprising that all the children in the current study, which required
having at least one friend, had achieved a relatively high level of social
competence.”
Pros of Play Dates
Some research indicates that frequent play dates (arranged by the parent or child) are linked
with a larger range of playmates. For example, findings from a small study
suggest children with HFASD who had more hosted play dates in their homes tended
to use more turn-taking behaviors with peers on the school play ground such as conversing and mutually offering objects.
What’s more, the children with HFASD also got more
positive responses to their initiations from other students, according to the
study published in the Journal of Child
Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines.
