Linking the Circles

It has been an interesting school year.  My son’s general education teacher has been impressed with the changes he has made since attending his extracurricular social skills group.  For example, now he readily starts conversations with other classmates.  As a result, she started a weekly rotating friendship circle including him and four other students.  We are humbled by her kindness.  We know this doesn't happen all the time.  In fact, it was only three years ago that I got in a heated telephone conversation with his preschool teacher.  So my husband and I are grateful. 

So since January, our son has been a part of this friendship circle at his elementary school.  The group meets once a week during recess and they discuss topics ranging from bullying to favorite television shows.  Also, they cover other areas including teamwork and altering voice tone according to your environment (e.g. not shouting in the classroom).

 

Friendship Circles or the “Circle of Friends” approach can be used for including individuals with disabilities into schools by forming a group composed of other typically-developing students around a “target” child with special needs.  The circle is usually led by a teacher or administrator who serves as the facilitator.  The groups are focused on equipping special-needs students with socially acceptable responses to everyday situations.

A number of studies suggest that participation in friendship circles may be linked with improved behavior by children with disabilities.  For instance, a 2003 study in The Journal of Special Education found that a weekly Circle of Friends program had positive effects on the social acceptance of the target children by other classmates after six weeks.    

In addition, in a 1998 study published in the British Journal of Special Education, facilitators reported that students with autism who participated in a circle of friends program showed improvements such as reduced anxiety and higher levels of peer contact.

Still, some research suggests that some children with disabilities may not learn new social skills after participating in friendship circles.  However, the programs may promote an environment where special-needs students can become a part of the school’s social community. 

Also, several peer participants reported a higher degree of compassion and acceptance towards children with disabilities.  And some parents of special-needs students said they felt less alienated and isolated after their child completed the program.

As we go into summer, I am a little nervous about the changes that may come with second grade (e.g. I actually joked with my son’s general education teacher about her possibly looping with the class).  But life is about the acceptance of change.  That makes it especially challenging because that’s not my son’s strong suit (or mine).  So I guess we will have to count on the three P's to get us through:  Preparation, persuasion—and lots and lots of prayer. 

Reading Rules

During morning drop-offs at school, I’m noticing that our son approaches the least responsive kids.  There is Situation No. 1:  He walks over to a classmate and whispers in a low monotone voice, “Hi.”  Usually, I will urge him to speak louder.  He slowly moves closer and whispers again.  The classmate looks at him blankly.  Then, there’s Situation No. 2:  My son walks over to a group of roughhousing children and says, “Hi.”  They barely notice him or respond. 

As evidenced, our son isn’t afraid to approach other children or start conversations.  Nor is he shy about asking other children to play games with him.  However, he isn’t clued into the “hidden curriculum.”  The hidden curriculum refers to the unwritten social rules that typically-developing people absorb automatically but may elude students with autism.  For instance, shouting at friends during recess is fine but shouting at your teacher in the classroom is unacceptable.

Also, our son may not pick up on the nonverbal language being communicated (e.g. if a friend stands alone in a corner with a sullen facial expression; it is probably not a good time to talk).  A number of studies have found that problems with reading facial expressions and vocal tones are related to issues such as lower social competence, higher social anxiety and depression.

However, some findings are inconsistent and show gender and age differences.  Some research indicates that older children are more accurate at using both situational and expressive facial cues for judging emotions than younger children.  Also, in a 2003 study published in The Journal of Genetic Psychology, 30 elementary school children participated in six weekly or biweekly half-hour sessions where they were taught lessons on reading emotions on adult and child faces.  After four weeks, there was significant improvement in the children’s accuracy for judging facial cues compared with children who didn’t attend the therapy sessions.  What’s more, investigators also found that improvement on identifying facial expression was linked with lower social anxiety and higher self-worth for girls but increased feelings of negative self-concept for boys.   

So in an effort towards meeting these challenges, our son is attending a social skills group at Confident Kid Club in Pelham, NY.  The group focuses on areas such as appropriate eye contact, gauging body language and learning what makes a good friend.   But by no means are we trying to “fix” him.  First and foremost, we want him to be himself.  Since he started preschool four years ago, he has always managed to find friends in his class.  For example, his classmate, K., is also his current recess buddy.  Now, it is time to learn other nuances such as what other types of relationships are worth pursuing and which are not.  The rest will work itself out.