Happy Holidays! I have been struggling with something that many special-needs parents might find disturbing: admitting to others that my child has autism. Don’t get me wrong—I am a fierce autism advocate—just ask the many teachers and providers that I’ve had to set straight.
As discussed by many experts, my husband and I informed our closest set of family and friends (e.g. aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) of our son’s diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome. Many of these people were not surprised: they’ve viewed his behavior on a consistent basis. Some studies have suggested that parents of children with autism were aware of developmental problems as early as 18 months. It may be the same with extended family and friends.
My problem is that loose, sporadic set of relatives and acquaintances. My reason: Ignorance. For instance, I recently admitted to a longtime friend that my son had been diagnosed. After well-meaning platitudes (e.g. “sorry to hear that”), she said that he would "grow out of it." This isn't measles or mumps. No, it is a lifelong condition, I replied hastily.
A direct and frank proclamation may be beneficial for some children with ASD. For instance, in the book, Coming Out Asperger, Dinah Murray writes, “Having an authoritative diagnosis and disclosing that diagnosis have tended to be the keys to unlocking resources, and so hard disclosure is sometimes essential for practical reasons.”
Also, some past research suggests that disclosure affects how children with autism are evaluated by other people. Adults viewed a child’s behavior more positively when identified as having autism, according to a 2008 study published in Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. But the results depended on the type of behavior shown.
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